Chapter 5

"I don't think I can act like everything is okay when I know it's not." I finally reveal, pulling back and looking at Jake. He nods his head slowly before taking my hand and leading me towards the edge of his bed. I take a seat, the contents of my stomach stirring and threatening to come up. "It's not something that we can forget about, is it?" Jake murmurs, taking a seat next to me. He places his hand on my bare knee, his warm fingers heating up the area. I shake my head, feeling tears build up in my eyes. The doubts and uncertainty I'm feeling hit me all at once — "We're having a baby." I say in disbelief. "Yes we are." Jake response, his voice flat. I turn to look at him, wondering whether he's ready to be a parent. Am I ready to be a parent? My hand slowly hovers over my stomach and I glance down at it, unable to believe I'm growing a human inside of me. Upon noticing the dread on Jake's face, a question I know I need to ask plays repeatedly on my mind. . . "Should I get an abortion? There's also the option of adoption." He immediately turns towards me, his blue eyes turning a shade darker. I watch as his features crumple up into sadness and he shakes his head. "Emily, I-I cant make that decision for you but I can tell you what my thoughts are." Jake stutters, taking hold of my hand. I nod my head in relief, intertwining our fingers together. "That's all I want to know...What are you thinking? How do you really feel about this Jake?" I say firmly, desperately wanting to know what's going on inside his head. Jake breathes deeply, blowing out a breath as he gathers his thoughts. "I want you to know that I'll support you in whatever decision you decide to make but I think we can do this Muffin. I think we can be parents and we can be good parents too. I know you're scared and so am I but we have each other and together we can conquer anything." I sniffle and reach up, wiping at my eyes. The option of an abortion or adoption has been playing on my mind but I truly don't know whether I could go through with it. Despite it being bad timing and completely unexpected, I couldn't end a life that Jake and I had created together. His thumb rubs circles on the back of my hand as he waits for my response, looking like he's holding his breath in anticipation. I try to gather my thoughts and respond but my mind remains numb, unable to think clearly. When I don't say anything, Jake drops his head down, taking my silence as a confirmation to not wanting to keep the baby. All of a sudden, he stands up, gently pulling me up with him. "Where are we going?" I say confused. Jake reaches inside his wardrobe and takes out a jacket, handing it to me. "I need to take you somewhere but you can't tell a single soul about this Emily." His words are spoken in a hushed whisper, lined with secrecy. I nod my head and he takes my hand, leading me out of his bedroom. Downstairs we can hear the hustle and bustle of his family as they prepare the Christmas meal. As we tip toe down the stairs, a worrying thought enters my mind — "We'll be back for Christmas Dinner, right? Your Mum and Aunty Myra would never forgive us if we're late." I whisper. He turns around, placing a finger over his lips before continuing to creep down the stairs. Once we're out of the front door and heading for his car, he turns to look at me. "I'll make sure we're back in time." ***** We drive for around forty minutes, into the next town over. The entire drive there, I glance down at my watch in a bundle of nerves, worried I'll miss the Christmas Dinner meal and upset Jake's family. Upon sensing my stress, Jake reaches over and places a hand on my knee. "Stop worrying. I told you we're going to make it back on time, didn't I?" He says firmly, keeping his eyes on the road. The area is practically deserted due to it being Christmas Day but Jake remains safe as ever. I breathe out and nod my head. "Do you trust me Muffin?" "Entirely." I respond, turning to study him. A faint smile plays on his lips and a silence falls upon us as we continue to drive through deserted roads. The surrounding area begins to grow more and more derelict, the buildings broken and in need of desperate repair. I glance out of the window, wondering where Jake is taking me. "Where are we going?" I ask him, speaking my mind. My eyes drop down to my stomach and I breathe in sharply, wondering what it has to do with the baby. Jake shuffles uncomfortably in his seat, a look of uncertainty flashing across his face. "You'll soon see. It's hard for me to talk about." Jake mumbles in response. It's the last sentence he speaks before we come to a slow halt through several dark alleyways, the area dirty and unkept. I frown as he turns the engine off, peering around for a sign or indication on where we are. "You're not abandoning me here, are you? Alongside the bags of rubbish and empty takeaway cartons?" I joke, signalling at the mounds of leftover chinese boxes piled in the corner. Jake chuckles and shakes his head before pulling open his car door. "Please. You wouldn't last a day out on these streets." "I'm actually very resourceful. Being kidnapped by your real father and held hostage teaches you a few things." I joke. Jake's entire posture turns rigid from behind and he slowly turns to look at me, sadness filling his eyes. I grimace and throw him an apologetic look — "Bad joke?" I mumble. He nods his head, taking hold of my hand and helping me step over bags of rubbish. "Humour is actually a coping mechanism people use to handle traumatic events." I tell him. His eyebrows shoot up in surprise and he nods slowly, leading me towards a set of steep stairs in the far corner. "Huh, really? Well I'd prefer not to relive the moment I almost lost you." Jake replies smartly with the same amount of sass. I nod my head in understanding, biting down on my lip. "Noted." He squeezes my hand gently before beginning to climb the steps, leading me with him. I hesitate for a moment, tilting my head back to study the looming building standing over me. Jake pauses beside me, giving me a moment — "You trust me, right?" "Yes." I whisper, turning to look at him. "It's safe, I promise." He says, blue eyes fixed on mine. His words hold nothing but honesty so I nod my head, continuing to walk up the stairs and towards the door entrance. I watch in silence as Jake knocks on the door, his face turning stone cold serious. After several moments, there's no sign of life on the other side and I shuffle from one foot to the other, glancing down at my watch. "Jake, we really should — " The sound of the door banging open from the other side cuts me off and I jump, shuffling back to allow it to open. On the other side stands an elderly woman dressed in a knitted jumper and floor length skirt. Her beady eyes land on me and fill with confusion before she notices Jake beside me — "Ah! Jake! Do come in. I've been expecting you lately seeing as it's Christmas." "Merry Christmas Peggy." Jake says quietly, leaning forward to place a kiss on her cheek. I watch the interaction closely, a thousand questions playing inside my mind. Who is Peggy and what are we doing here?