"Remy..." "Remy..." "Remy, don't die on me!" "Hang on till you've married into their family. After that, die however you please." The shoving and shouting yanked Remy Fouldes back from the void. He realized his entire face had been smooshed against the car window, flattened and distorted beyond recognition. "What's with the noise? I'm trying to take her pulse. One more peep and you're out." He turned, fuming, and barked at them. The words left his mouth, then the mood struck him as wrong. He was supposed to be a somewhat famous traditional medicine practitioner, fingers on a young woman's smooth wrist, reading her pulse in peace. How had he ended up in a car? As his thoughts scrambled, he noticed a stylish woman beside him staring straight at him, confusion clouding her eyes. The world spun, and a flood of memories not his own crashed into his skull. Third son of the Fouldes family, a big-name clan. Getting married today-as a marry-in son-in-law. He looked down and finally took in the crisp suit he wore, the Groom's Flower pinned to his chest. He'd transmigrated. That was his first thought. "Ding... Detecting transmigrator data. Matching a System for you. If you have preferences, you may speak up!" Remy accepted reality fast. Without missing a beat, he said, "If I can choose the System, then give me-" A sweet female voice cut him off. "You can choose; we promise we won't take it." Remy: "..." Fine, what's the point of choosing. Just hit me with it. "Host profile." "Remy Fouldes, third son of the Fouldes family in Jenos, Jenby, twenty-five." "Personality: meek to the point of spineless." "Looks: A+." "Romantic history: infatuated with his rich classmate Nina Looske since junior high; chased her for years and never succeeded; an ultimate backup-basically a lapdog." "Based on all of the above, we have matched you with the Mischief System..." Remy's mouth twitched. A stream of curses ran through his head, and not one fit. Mischief System? "Switch it. Now." "Ding... System bound successfully. Also… don't be ungrateful." "The Mischief System will evaluate each instance of mischief and award points. Current tally: 0/100." "When your points reach 100, you may summon one Demonic Wind." "You don't make waves, I don't make waves-everyone stays happy." "Have fun making trouble!" Remy's face darkened. He gave in. He absolutely gave in. Forced binding-kidnapped, really. A Mischief System. Swap in someone ethical and they'd never make it run. He exhaled, relieved to realize he wasn't burdened with that particular handicap. Once he organized the memories, his situation snapped into focus. He was the Fouldes family's third son. In big families, some turned out well; some did not. The original owner was the latter. He had nursed a crush on Nina Looske, the richest girl in Jenos, since junior high, yet by graduation he hadn't even held her hand. Remy found that unsurprising. Nina's background was no joke: princess of the Looske family, the wealthiest in the city. She had suitors out the door and around the block-the queue was legendary. Remy's lineage was decent, but he had zero potential as an heir. People avoided offending him, yet had no reason to spend on him, so he'd been strung along as a backup for years. After graduation, the guy stopped going to work and became Nina's shadow, but his status barely budged. On Nina's bench of backups, he hadn't even cracked the top three. His mother died when he was young, so he had no faction inside the Fouldes household. Useless, he'd been fully sidelined. Not long ago, the Looske family's grandfather fell ill with a strange malady. After doctors failed, they went to a Daoist priest; after a divination, he said they needed a wedding to chase off the misfortune. The Looske family balked. At such a delicate moment, none of the sons and nephews wanted to marry. They drew lots, and Nina-lucky or unlucky-was chosen. After weighing the pros and cons, she reluctantly agreed. She wasn't a pushover, either. She knew that once she married into another family, the Looske fortune would slip away from her. So she opted to take a husband who would marry into her side. She sounded out her many backups. As expected, they all refused. With solid family backgrounds, none of them would marry into the bride's house. Only Remy agreed without a blink. Nina felt a stab of contempt, but she had no better option. On paper, the Fouldes and Looske families still counted as roughly evenly matched. Most importantly, the Fouldes clan wanted Remy gone anyway. Two birds, one stone-no reason to say no. It took just three days to move from engagement to wedding. The cars were now en route to Looske Manor. Nina had come too, though she sat in another car, repulsed by Remy. Beside him sat his half-sister, Claire Fouldes. She was an ingrate. "Remy, you okay?" Claire waved a hand in front of his eyes. Remy smiled. "I'm fine. Marrying into their family today? I'm thrilled." Claire showed a pleasant face while inside she sneered at him. Pure fool. Marry into the Looske family and you think you'll have good days? None of it concerned her, though. As long as she delivered Remy to Looske Manor, she'd get a new limited-edition handbag from LJ. Nothing like a new bag to cure all ills. After the brief exchange, the car fell quiet again. Remy pinched the bridge of his nose. How to make mischief? Luckily, he'd devoured plenty of shameless webnovels. He had a solid foundation. For him, this wasn't a problem-it was a multiple-choice question. Yabba-dabba, waka-waka, mika-maka, mmm... Yabba-dabba, abba-yakka, ika-akka, oh... A goofy meme song blared. Every eye swung toward him. Remy blinked, then fished his phone out and groaned. That ringtone... The contact label read, in bold, "Wife." He rolled his eyes. This guy really was a lapdog. A business deal, plain as day, and he was playing himself up like a love story. He hesitated, then picked up. On the other end, a cold voice said, "We're almost there. Be smart. Don't embarrass me." Click. She hung up before he could say a word. Remy held the phone without a hint of anger. Playing aloof? Let's see how long you can keep up the act. A few minutes later, the motorcade left the highway and pulled into the manor. Drums thumped, gongs clanged, firecrackers crackled-bang, bang, bang. The spectacle screamed money. As soon as the car stopped, Remy reached for the door. Claire stopped him. "Remy, by custom, they owe me a red envelope for riding along. Don't rush." Remy considered, then nodded. "Alright." An idea clicked neatly into place. A butler soon knocked on the window and, all courtesy, handed Claire a tray. Claire accepted with delight. She lifted the red cloth. Remy went wide-eyed. The tray was stacked with crisp bills, squared and neat. At least ten thousand dollars. Claire nodded, satisfied. "You can get out now." Remy still didn't move. Not getting out unless there's eighty grand. The door swung open. Nina Looske appeared in a red panel skirt, cool and aloof. Remy's vision sharpened. Say what you will, the woman was stunning. Skin fair as jade, smooth as cream, lips dewy and tender, the tail of her brows lifting with a hint of challenge. Most of all, that figure-out of this world. Beautiful. Beautiful beyond measure. Remy howled inwardly. No wonder the original owner had been besotted for ten years. Who wouldn't get dizzy at this? "Get out." Nina's tone was indifferent. A ring of guests had already gathered, all moneyed, all polished. They clapped like they cared, while inside they looked down on Remy to the bone. When Remy failed to respond, Nina frowned. Normally he jumped to obey her. What had gotten into him? She drew breath to speak, but Remy said, unhurried, "Yeah, I'm marrying into your family. Tradition says there's a step-out-of-the-car cash gift-don't skip it." "You gotta respect the ceremony." His voice wasn't loud, but everyone heard it clearly. Step-out-of-the-car cash gift? Listen to that. Was that human speech? Marrying into the bride's household and asking for a step-out-of-the-car cash gift? From a man's own mouth? The world felt upside down.