Chapter 6: Three Bites, One Chicken

Emperor of Southern Radiance wore his eternally icy expression, while his eyes were deep as bottomless pools, impossible to read. "Honorary Father, let us discuss Dylan and Gardenia Negas's marriage." "Dylan will become my son-in-law. I guarantee he will live out his days in comfort." Benedict Weedy withdrew his imposing aura and held up three fingers. "With the Princess marrying into the Weedy family, we naturally wouldn't dare slight her. The bride-price will be the three hundred thousand soldiers of the Weedy Family Army stationed at the frontier." A faint smile appeared on the Emperor of Southern Radiance's unchanging ice-cold face. "In that case, I won't keep Honorary Father from his rest. Farewell." "I shall see Your Majesty out." At the gates of Duke of Weedy's Manor, the Deputy General emerged from the shadows after the emperor climbed into his sedan chair. "Weedy, His Majesty came here in the middle of the night. Was it to discuss the Young Master and the Princess's marriage?" Benedict Weedy let out a long sigh and nodded. "The bride-price is three hundred thousand soldiers of the Weedy Family Army. The dowry is a promise to keep that Little Bastard free from worry for the rest of his life." The Deputy General's brow furrowed deeply. "Serving an emperor is like sleeping beside a tiger, especially with the Emperor of Southern Radiance being so ruthless. If the Young Master doesn't hold military power, then with his temperament... If he refuses to change, I'm afraid-" "Does that Little Bastard even deserve to command an army?" The Deputy General hurried to reassure him. "Weedy, you shouldn't sell yourself short. The Young Master does have some good qualities." Benedict Weedy pursed his lips. "Then name one. If you can list even a single virtue that Little Bastard possesses, I'll admit you're a genius." "This... this..." The Deputy General's old face turned bright red. In the end, he had no choice but to lie through his teeth. "The Young Master... although he often abducts common women, the ones he forces are all beautiful. At least his eye for beauty is still sound!" "Weedy, something terrible has happened!" A servant rushed in. "Master, the Young Master went to the Brothel to find a woman." "He does that every day. How is that a disaster?" "Not this time! He found a Big Hippo weighing more than three hundred pounds. He... he played around until he was covered in shit, then bought her freedom. The entire capital knows about it!" Benedict Weedy trembled with rage. He hurriedly pinched the spot beneath his nose, then rubbed the fury churning in his chest with his other hand. It took him a long while to calm down. "That Little Bastard has lost even his taste!" Benedict Weedy grabbed the Deputy General by the collar. "Tell me. What good qualities does he have?" The Deputy General dropped to one knee. "Weedy, please don't make me do this!" Blood surged through Benedict Weedy's chest. His face flushed dark red, the veins on his arms standing out as his voice boomed like a great bell. "Damn it all! I have to harden my heart." "Otherwise, after I die, that Little Bastard will catch up with me before I can even meet the former emperor!" "Butler, bring me a horse-tripping rope and a thorn switch. When that Little Bastard comes home, I'll hang him up and beat him!" The butler and the Deputy General stood behind Benedict Weedy, one holding the rope and the other clutching the switch. They waited for Dylan to return so they could administer family punishment. What arrived, however, was not Dylan, but two burly men dressed in black. Both men were covered in dirt, with blood staining the corners of their mouths. Judging by the unnatural angles of their arms, they had clearly suffered broken bones. Benedict Weedy hurried over in alarm. "Wyatt, Weston, why are you back? Where's Dylan? Was he attacked?" "Weedy, the Young Master is fine," one of them replied hurriedly. "These injuries... he did this to us." The Deputy General stepped forward and viciously lashed them with the rope. "Bullshit! In a real fight, the Young Master might not even beat a woman. How could he defeat the Duke's personal guards?" "It wasn't the Young Master. It was the Big Hippo beside him. She wasn't human!" "She was over six feet tall and weighed more than three hundred pounds. She grabbed our heads and slammed them into the ground!" "Is that true?" "Truer than pearls! That Big Hippo's hands were bigger than palm-leaf fans. She grabbed both our heads, and Wyatt and I didn't even have a chance to fight back..." The Deputy General leaned close to Benedict Weedy's ear and lowered his voice. "Weedy, Wyatt and Weston are both Martial Way experts at the Innate Level. They've survived countless life-or-death battles on the battlefield. Anyone who could beat them without giving them a chance to resist is probably a master, perhaps even a Grand Master." Benedict Weedy felt the qi lingering in the two men's bodies, then gently rubbed their heads. "That woman is definitely a Grand Master. Her Martial Way cultivation is no weaker than mine." "Weedy, if that's true, there's one thing I don't understand. Why would the Young Master have her beat his own men?" "He was telling me that he wasn't merely a wastrel. He acted with a purpose." The corners of Benedict Weedy's mouth lifted. "He killed a man with a gun, then came up with a top-tier medicinal prescription. He even spent one hundred taels to buy a Grand Master. That brat may be far more complicated than we imagined." "Weedy, I don't understand what you mean." "You don't need to. Remember this, and don't let a word of it spread. Quietly investigate Jade Jauncy. From this point onward, whatever Dylan does, support him as much as possible, but report everything to me." "Yes, sir." As they neared Weedy Manor, Shaun Sinjen produced a velvet cushion. "Young Master, you definitely won't escape the beating waiting for you. Put this under your backside ahead of time. It won't hurt as much when they administer family punishment." Dylan Weedy waved dismissively. "Don't worry. Grandpa won't hit me." "Ah, a good word can't save a fool determined to die. Young Master, you'll have to fend for yourself when we get home..." When they returned to Duke of Weedy's Manor, everything was peaceful. Nothing resembled the scene Shaun Sinjen had imagined. Kind Grandpa raised his sword, Little Bastard got hacked beneath the blade. When the grandson still didn't look miserable enough, out came the feather duster... Unwilling to accept reality, Shaun Sinjen shouted twice, "Welcome home, Young Master!" Still, no furious Benedict Weedy appeared with flames shooting from his eyes. Shaun Sinjen turned to the guards stationed by the gate. "Weedy never told you to tie up the Young Master and drag him to the study?" "He didn't." "Then maybe he told you to beat him right here?" "He didn't say that either..." "This... this makes no sense!" Dylan Weedy planted a kick in Shaun Sinjen's backside. "Quit standing around and prepare a late-night meal for Jade. Have the kitchen make ten chickens, with ten chefs each preparing one of them in a different style. Steam a huge pot of rice, too, and add a few refreshing side dishes." "Prepare her quarters as well. All the bedding must be new. Find several tailors and have them make thirty to fifty outfits for her." "Right, her quarters need to be close to mine. If I shout, she has to reach me within ten seconds flat..." Dylan Weedy returned to his room. Several matronly maids washed his hands and feet, gave him a small cup of calming herbal soup, and helped him into bed. He wasn't worried that Jade Jauncy would deceive him. He believed Benedict Weedy had already begun investigating her family tree, all the way back eight generations. After examining his body, Dylan found that his failing internal organs had improved considerably. The blockages in his Sinews and Meridians had also begun to clear. By his estimate, another ten or so sessions would be enough for him to complete Marrow Cleansing. Meanwhile, Jade Jauncy followed Shaun Sinjen timidly into the dining hall. A Sichuan chef soon brought out a plate of yellow-braised chicken. A Hunan chef followed with Luopan-style smoked chicken. Then came braised chicken, salt-and-pepper rice-fed chicken, white-cut chicken, and dish after dish... Gurgle, gurgle, gurgle... "All... all of this is mine?" Jade asked, her eyes fixed on the feast. "I can eat as much as I want?" Shaun Sinjen nodded. Jade could no longer hold back. She dug in with her bare hands and began to feast. The ten chefs and servants watched in stunned silence, breaking into a chorus of nervous belches. They had seen people who could eat. They had never seen anyone eat like this. One chicken disappeared in three bites. Jade Jauncy cried as she ate. "It's so fragrant. It's so delicious." She had been able to fill her stomach at the Whorehouse, but most of what she ate there consisted of coarse grains and pickled vegetables. Meat only appeared during festivals. Here, she had refined grain and meat in unlimited quantities. The chefs represented the empire's ten great cuisines, and every one of them had been bestowed upon the household by the emperor as an imperial chef. Their skill went without saying. Jade secretly swore that she would protect Dylan Weedy even at the cost of her life. As long as he stayed alive, she could keep eating her fill. Inside the study, Deputy General Warth reported to Benedict Weedy. "Weedy, a carrier pigeon arrived from the north. We've investigated Jade Jauncy thoroughly. Her identity is clean, and we can essentially rule out the possibility that an enemy faction used the opportunity to approach Weedy Manor." Benedict Weedy nodded. Jade Jauncy was over six feet tall and weighed more than three hundred pounds. She was far too conspicuous. Even someone trying to impersonate her would have had trouble creating a convincing identity, so investigating her had been simple. Benedict soon noticed that Deputy General Warth looked unwell. One of his arms hung limply at his side. It was clearly dislocated. "What happened to your arm?" The Deputy General gave a bitter sigh. "I pretended to accidentally bump into her because I wanted to test her strength. Guess what happened? The impact dislocated my shoulder instantly..." "Jade Jauncy's strength is astonishing. Her cultivation is also higher than mine. It's just that she eats far too much." "You got a Grand Master for free. What's wrong with letting her eat a little of your food?" "Little Warth, go to Everett Murch and have him set your arm before it leaves a lingering injury." Benedict Weedy waved for the Deputy General to leave. Then he lay on his bed and gazed at the bright moon hanging in the night sky. A smile slowly spread across his face. "I want to see how many more surprises that Little Bastard has in store for me."