Chapter 4

"Ms. Winslow, we've finished packing the bedroom. Would you like us to take the framed photograph on the nightstand?" "No." I closed my suitcase and checked my phone. December thirty-first, two in the afternoon. Derek would be home in less than twenty-four hours. He had been staying at his parents' house ever since Christmas. Every morning and evening, he sent me a message. [Honey, have you eaten today?] [Peyton is still upset about the trip. Once we work everything out, I'll take all of you somewhere else.] Last night, he had finally confirmed when he would be coming home. [Tomorrow is New Year's Eve, so I need to have dinner with my parents. I'll be home on New Year's Day, and we'll spend the holiday together.] As if all he had to do was come home with flowers and dinner, and we could start over. But I had already signed the lease on an apartment. Yesterday, after the law firm reopened, I met with Claire Harrison. After listening to my situation, she asked whether I was certain I wanted a divorce. "I'm certain." "Does your husband know?" "Not yet." Claire didn't try to change my mind. She explained the divorce process, how our marital property would be handled, and which documents I needed to prepare next. I told her I planned to move out first. "Keep copies of all financial records, and you can take your personal belongings with you. Any disputes involving marital property should be left for the legal proceedings," she reminded me. After leaving her office, I went to the apartment I had viewed a few days earlier. It wasn't large, and it was only a fifteen-minute drive from my office. As I signed the lease, the property manager asked, "Will you be living alone?" "Yes." For the first time in eighteen years, I had rented a home that belonged only to me. "Ms. Winslow?" The mover's voice pulled me back to the present. "There are still a few boxes in the study. Would you like to look through them?" "I'll be right there." One wall of the study was covered with photographs of Cole and Peyton. Their first days of school, their first competitions, their first graduations. When Cole was five, he hadn't even known how to tie his own shoes. When Peyton was two, she couldn't fall asleep unless she was holding my finger. Now they were twenty-three and twenty. They had grown up long ago. I took my passport, identification documents, and work files from the drawer, then packed my personal records into the final box. That was when Cole called. "Mom, Dad says you haven't been willing to talk to him." "Did you need something?" "I want you to look over my materials for next week's investor meeting. You promised you'd support me." "I said I could give you advice. I never promised to take on any investment responsibility for you." "I know. But you know so many people in the industry. One word from you is worth more than half an hour of me explaining things." "Cole, I can't help you right now." He sighed on the other end of the line. "You never used to act like this." "You never used to help other people lie to me." He was silent for a moment. "Mom, what Dad did is between you and him. You don't have to punish me too." I looked at the graduation photograph on the wall. "Cole, I'm not punishing you. I'm refusing your request." "Fine. We can talk after you calm down." He ended the call. I slipped my phone into my pocket. The movers left at four that afternoon. I walked through every room alone, making sure I hadn't left any personal belongings behind. When I entered the primary bedroom, I saw our wedding photograph on the nightstand. In the picture, Derek was bending down to kiss me. It had been taken twelve years ago in June. After the wedding, he had held my hand and promised that I would never have to face anything alone again. But on Christmas Eve, he had sent me home alone because another woman needed him. I opened my jewelry box and removed the wedding ring I had worn for twelve years. I placed it beside the photograph. Then I slipped Claire's business card and a note beneath the ring. [Derek, I've decided to file for divorce. From now on, please contact my attorney regarding the divorce and our property.] I pulled my suitcase out of the bedroom. Just then, Derek sent me a message. [Honey, I'll be home tomorrow morning. Peyton says she wants your breakfast. I told her she could come over too. Is that okay?] A second message appeared a few seconds later. [I know you're still angry. But we're a family. We can't avoid each other forever.] I turned off my phone and locked the front door. Half an hour later, I entered my new apartment. The only things inside were the newly delivered furniture and a few cardboard boxes. I left my suitcase in the bedroom, put the kettle on, and sent Claire a message. [I've moved out of the marital home. I left your contact information for Derek. He'll be contacting you.] Outside the window, fireworks welcomed the new year. I sat in the unfamiliar living room. For the first time, I didn't have to wonder when Derek would be home or prepare breakfast for Cole and Peyton the following morning. Tomorrow, Derek would bring them back to that house. And this time, no matter how long he waited, no one would open the door for them.