Chapter 4: I Want More

My knees became weakened, and he helped me lie down on the ground. The cold, hard shock of the floor brought me back to the reality of what was happening with me and the prisoner. My heart began to pound, and I sat up, intent on pulling away from him. His eyes, mere inches from me, landed on mine, a mixture of hunger and curiosity. I could feel the heat of his rapid breathing against m,y jaw and swallowed as his tongue trailed slowly along his bottom lip. I didn’t know how to tell him this was my first time, and I didn’t know if that would make the situation more awkward. He pulled back. I blinked several times, letting out the breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding on to, but I didn’t move. I lay back on the ground, allowing my flesh to acclimate to the solid coldness. I smoothed my hands over my face and then allowed them to smooth over the flesh of my body, over my breasts and stomach, to the parting between my legs. I let my eyes find his and watched as he took me in before slowly coming back over to me. “I want more,” I said. He seemed to understand as he placed my knees over his shoulders and continued working his mouth between my thighs. I could feel when my body was ready to explode. He licked me as my body pulsated, only pulling back to lie next to me when I became still. He turned me over onto my stomach, rubbing his hands over my back and kissing my neck before moving his body on top of mine. I could feel his hardness pressing my entrance, and I bit my bottom lip in anticipation. As he began to enter, my breath caught, and I couldn’t suppress the whimper that escaped as his filling me tore at my tender,runtouched flesh. He froze, muttering quickly in his foreign language as I tried to adjust to the feel of him inside of me. He kissed my neck again and moved slightly to find my discarded dress and put it under me. He held me close to him, whispering his soft foreign words in my ear as my body relaxed around him. I was ready when he began to move slowly and steadily. The sensations that consumed me were indescribable. I became lost in them as they drowned out all of my reasonable senses. A different kind of urgency began to fill me up as he moved faster and faster, hugging me to him as my body released another pulsating explosion. I felt him stiffen over me and then relax. After several heartwarming moments, he lay next to me on the ground and then pulled me into his arms. His hand smoothed up and down my back. I rested my head on his chest, listening to the rapid T.cadence of his heart as it slowed down. “I wish I knew your name,” I said. He turned his head to look down at me curiously. I pointed to my chest and said, “I’m Sasha.” I pointed to him. “Erich,” he answered, the accent thick in the back of his throat. “It’s nice to meet you, Erich.” He smiled and grunted before his eyelids drooped closed and he began to snore softly. I lay with him like that, wondering if that had been enough to make a baby. I went to see him the following three nights, and he treated me to the same explosive love making again and again. I’d make a small dinner for us to eat during the night and fill the quiet space with stories about my life. I could never really tell how much he understood, but he seemed content to listen quietly. I returned home each time wishing that I could have freed him and brought him home with me. On the last night I came to visit him, I knew that our time together was coming to an end. I made a small feast of pheasant and potatoes and a berry pie. I couldn’t help the tears in my eyes. He looked at me curiously. Shaking my head, I said, “I won’t be able to see you anymore.” He nodded, seeming to understand. “I don’t know what’s going to happen to you, Erich. But, I promise, if I do become pregnant, to name our child after you.” His eyes narrowed on me. “I can’t come back anymore,” I tried to explain. But his eyes traveled down to my middle, and his expression darkened even more. I placed my hand on my belly and shook my head. “It was a stupid plan. I didn’t think it through; I just didn’t want to lose my home. A baby means security. I was married to a brutal man, and I didn’t want… I…” I began to cry. He didn’t move, waiting patiently for my tears to stop. As I wiped my eyes, he looked sad and stood up to look out at the moonlight. After a moment, he motioned for me to come close to him. I did. As I came close to him, he took a knee in front of me, placing his ear to my abdomen. “Erich,” he said, and followed the name with a string of foreign words almost like a prayer to his unborn. When it was done, he stood and kissed me. “I promise he will be well cared for,” I said before dressing and gathering the things I’d brought with me. “He won’t want for anything.” He nodded and turned away from me. As the door opened, I wondered just how much of what I’d said to him he truly understood. I was tired and distracted the next day at breakfast until I heard; “They are going to move the prisoners to Taukin Square for a public execution in the morning. They will all face a firing squad.” It was my mother-in-law who spoke. I turned to look at her. “They should be burned alive,” Chantal suggested vehemently. I shot Chantal with a glare. “They killed our Marius!” she reminded me. “Right, right,” I said, pretending to agree. My heart felt sick at the thought of losing Erich. So did my stomach. I placed my hand over my mouth and ran for the nearest trash can to spill the contents of my stomach. To my surprise, my mother-in-law came to my immediate aid, ordering the servants to bring fresh tea and toast. She gently guided me to the sitting room after I had a chance to rinse my mouth and Instructed me to lie down. “Please, tell me this is true!” she said with more joy and happiness than I’d ever seen her express before. “If it’s a boy, we will name him Marius, after his father!” she cheered. I forced a smile, knowing that in reality,y the sick feeling had nothing to do with carrying a child. I was just overcome with emotions concerning Erich. She escorted Chantal to the door, and I let her dote on me for the remainder of the morning and into lunch. Her daughters seemed to be cheered by the news as well. She finally let me return home in the afternoon. And I began to form a plan to help get Erich out of the prison that night.