Chapter 8

Ryu Geun-deok Gamjatang. I sat in a secluded corner of the restaurant, across from Seon-jae and Baek In-hyeok. When Seon-jae’s mother recognized me, she was surprised that I knew her son and pressed 2,000 won into my hand, saying I hadn’t taken my change the last time I was here. I had been planning to pretend I’d never been here at all. I was doomed. “Thank you,” I said, bowing, then crumpled the bill into my pocket. Baek In-hyeok said he’d help in the kitchen and disappeared inside. I almost reached out to stop him without realizing it. That left only Seon-jae and me alone at the table. He laid down spoons and chopsticks neatly for the three of us. I looked at the utensils in front of me. He’d aligned them so perfectly that I forgot I’d been dragged here against my will and just admired how meticulous he was. “You,” he said. I looked up from the spoons. Seon-jae had his elbow on the table, chin resting on his hand, watching me. I swallowed. I waited for what he’d say next. “What’s your name?” “Huh?” The unexpected question made me blink, wide-eyed. “You’re not Kim Chun-baek, and you’re not seventy. At this point, I’m even wondering if the name on your name tag is fake.” “Oh, no. That’s actually mine.” “I'm Sol?” I nodded as our eyes met. Seon-jae kept staring at me. It became hard to hold his gaze, so I looked away. There’s no way I’d be able to attend a fan signing. If Iweres this nervous now, how could I ever stand right in front of him and ask for his autograph? The restaurant was quiet enough that I could hear voices from the kitchen—Seon-jae’s mom and In-hyeok. “Is she Seon-jae’s girlfriend?” “No. She’s a fan.” “A fan? He already has one?” “Yup. She even has a nickname. ‘Run Away with Seon-jae.’” “She’s planning to run off with him? As in, kidnap him?” Hearing my name come up made me shrink down and scratch my forehead in embarrassment. Baek In-hyeok, it turns out, is a damn bamboo forest. I hated myself for not realizing sooner. A few minutes later, In-hyeok returned carrying a large pot. He placed it on the burner in the center of the table and turned the knob. “I was starving. I even skipped my extra class just in case we missed you.” “You skipped the extra class? Just to come to our school...” “Seon-jae dragged me out, saying he had to go find you.” He stirred the gamjatang with a ladle as he said it. I glanced at Seon-jae—he was still resting his chin in his hand, staring at me. I wanted to sink through the floor. In-hyeok filled a small dish and served me. Seon-jae hadn’t said a word to me since asking my name. When I’d come here alone, I’d happily pull the meat off the bones and mix my rice in the soup. Now, I couldn’t tell if I was eating or inhaling. I picked up the last grain of rice stuck to the bowl with my chopsticks. For someone unsure whether the rice was going to her mouth or nose, I was eating a little too well. I told myself it was thanks to Seon-jae’s mom’s amazing cooking. “Man, I’m stuffed.” In-hyeok rubbed his belly and scanned the table, then looked at me curiously. “You didn’t eat any cheongyang peppers today?” “Huh?” “I cleaned your table last time. You left five peppers with just the stems—looked like someone who really knows how to eat hangover stew.” “Oh... that...” “How’d you know?” I was struggling to come up with an excuse when Seon-jae suddenly spoke. The guy who always smiled on TV had such a cold tone when speaking to me now—it wasn’t just upsetting, it made me want to cry. I hesitated, mouthing silently without actually saying anything. Then Seon-jae stood up and walked over to the wall. He took down an apron. What was he doing? He brought it over and wrapped it around my head. I blinked in shock, staring up at him. He studied my face, expressionless. “The same.” “...Huh?” He tied the apron under my chin and gently lifted my face with both hands. My head tilted back slightly, eyes locked on his. “You’re the girl who ran off with the apron, aren’t you?” “Ah, that...” “What are you?” “Huh?” “What are you?” “I-I’m... your fan...” He held his phone out in front of me. “Go in.” “Go in where...?” “That fan café you joined but never posted in. Go in.” I froze. That café wouldn’t even exist for another four years. How was I supposed to get in? “If it exists, I’ll believe you.” “...It’s fine. You don’t have to believe me.” His brows furrowed. Damn. How was I supposed to get out of this? He stood there like he wouldn’t budge unless I took the phone. I accepted it. Only then did he remove the apron and sit back down. He looked at me expectantly. Beside him, In-hyeok grinned like he was thoroughly entertained. This is hell. I opened the browser and typed “Seon-jae” into the café search bar. Scrolling through the results, I came across “People Who Love Seonjae Island.” I clicked in, hoping for a miracle—nothing. No posts, only three members. Looked like someone had created it and then forgotten about it. Should I bluff and say this was it? Before I could decide, Seon-jae snatched the phone back. “Wait, that’s not—” His face hardened. In-hyeok peeked over and burst into laughter. “She’s seriously unbelievable.” Grinning, In-hyeok took the phone from Seon-jae and laughed right in my face. There was a scenic photo of Seonjae Island as the café's banner. No wonder he laughed. Seon-jae looked at me like he couldn’t even be mad anymore—just dumbfounded. “No fans, no café. Makes sense.” “......” I said nothing. In-hyeok kept laughing. “I found something in my desk drawer today.” Seon-jae unzipped his bag and pulled out a thick stack of letters. They were the warning notes I’d been secretly stuffing into his desk. I’d assumed he read and put them back, but apparently not. He pulled one out and read aloud: “This letter is from the future. You must believe and follow everything written in this letter. If you don’t, great misfortune will follow. If there’s a tall friend over 180cm who resembles a cat, stay away. Avoid anything that contains potatoes. If you experience insomnia, watch a documentary about the mysteries of the universe. You’ll be able to sleep without pills.” He lowered the letter and looked at me—icy. “I even checked the other desks. Only mine had these.” I had nothing to say. Of course, the others didn’t have them. I’d only put them in his. “Why are you doing this to me?” I gripped my bag strap. My heart pounded so hard it hurt. My face burned. “Did you really come from the future?” “......” “Is this fun for you? Messing with me like this?” “......” My nose stung. I scrunched my face in a futile attempt not to cry. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. Seon-jae just stared. “...But I wasn’t messing with you. None of this was a joke. I... I just...” “What?” The lump in my throat made it hard to speak. “I won’t do it again. I’m sorry.” I pushed back my chair and bolted for the door. I hadn’t even done anything that bad—but I felt so miserable I could cry. Maybe I was just some random nobody, but I’d come to the past thinking I could save him. Thinking that somehow I could stop it. I didn’t even know how or why I was here. “Hey.” I heard his voice, and then he grabbed my wrist and spun me around. It was Seon-jae. Tears welled in my eyes. One dropped, then another. “Why are you crying?” His expression softened, startled by my sudden tears. “Ugh—huhuhu—waaah.” I pulled my arm free, and he let go. “You won’t see me again. I won’t go near your school. But I wasn’t lying. I really wasn’t.” Sobbing, I turned and walked away. I glanced back—he stood there, looking lost. “Seon-jae... even if you hate me, don’t hate the letters.” I added that, then walked off again. I rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand and cried hard, sobbing loudly as I moved farther and farther away. He didn’t follow. Eventually, I found a quiet bench in an empty park and sat down. I hunched over and buried my face in my knees, crying into them. My phone buzzed in my pocket. I reached in and felt something cold. The pocket watch. I lifted my head and pulled it out, flipping the lid open. “You’re the reason for this.” Blaming the watch out of sheer frustration— At that moment, the hour hand clicked into place. A bright light shone from the watch face. “W-wait, this...” I shut my eyes tightly. The blinding light vanished. Somewhere, a loud pop song was playing. My heart wouldn’t stop pounding. I clenched my fists and slowly opened my eyes. Everything was dark. I couldn’t see a thing. I blinked a few times. My vision slowly adjusted to the darkness—and a familiar sight came into focus. Oh my god. A poster was taped to the wall—Ryu Seon-jae, hair dyed yellow, wearing a beige knit sweater. “Uh...” Gripping the blanket tightly with both hands, I looked around the room and slowly sat up. I walked over to the wall and brushed my hand across the poster. It was the exact one I got after buying the album. Next to it were photo cards and a slogan that read, Seon-jae, I love you. Did I come back? I’d spent nearly a month in the past. Since I woke up in my bed, I might have just been lying here like a corpse all that time, unreachable by anyone. If that was true, my family must’ve been really worried. I was sure my phone would be flooded with missed calls. I rushed to my bed and searched for my phone. My head spun with thoughts of how to explain this. I pressed the button. 01:00, January 1, X-day I stared blankly at the date and time. January 1st. One o’clock. Only about an hour had passed here. Was it all a dream? A long, incredibly vivid dream? But I had lived through every minute, every second. It couldn’t have been just a dream. Frowning in confusion, I opened the browser. My heart pounded so hard it felt like it would burst. My fingers trembled so badly I kept typing things like Woo San-jae, Woo Sa-net, Yoo-eo Seon-jae, instead of Ryu Seon-jae. I steadied my thumb and carefully tapped each character. ...? It felt like my heart dropped into a void. The search results were filled with articles about celebrities visiting Seon-jae’s memorial. “Actor X visited,” “Senior artist Y arrived,” article after article—with nearly all of them showing the grief-stricken faces of the Potato Pancakes members. One photo showed Baek In-hyeok crying in Seo Yun-jae’s arms, close-up. Nothing had changed. My phone slipped from my hand. Had it really been a dream? I sat there stunned, staring at the wall. I turned the lights on and went to the bathroom. When I looked in the mirror, my face was swollen from crying. I splashed water on it. Then I smacked my cheek hard with the palm of my hand. “Ow.” I wiped my face with a towel and returned to my room. I sat on the bed, blankly staring at Seon-jae’s poster. “I was just eating gamjatang with you a minute ago.” I looked at the wrist he had grabbed. It had felt so real. If I had truly gone to the past and come back, did that mean Seon-jae didn’t believe me? There was no way to confirm it. I couldn’t just show up at his funeral and ask Baek In-hyeok, Hey, remember eating gamjatang with me? If he were someone I could meet that easily, I wouldn’t have needed binoculars at concerts or gotten cut from music show lineups every time. I looked down at my feet, but my heart wouldn’t settle. Like the surface of water after a stone has been thrown in, the ripples wouldn’t stop. I couldn’t forget Seon-jae’s eyes. It was too real to write off as just a dream. I raised my head. Tightened my fists. What did I have to lose? I threw on my coat, grabbed my phone and wallet, and bolted out the door. As soon as I reached the main road, I flagged down a taxi. The articles had said which hospital Seon-jae’s memorial was at. The night blurred past outside the window. My hands wouldn’t stop sweating. I arrived at the hospital. It was late, but there were still reporters, security guards, and a small crowd. Of course, there was no way I could get anywhere near the memorial. I wandered around and eventually crouched behind the funeral hall near a flowerbed, pulling up Potato Pancakes’ Instagram. The photo I’d commented on was still the most recent post: Seon-jae was wearing a cap backwards, sipping a plain yogurt smoothie. His eyes were wide as he looked into the camera. My eyes welled up. “So it really was just a dream.” A tear hit the screen of my phone. I wiped it off with my sleeve and sniffled. That’s when I noticed someone walking down the unlit path nearby. Even in the darkness, I could tell he was tall and handsome. I lowered my hand and blinked. Then my eyes widened. “Baek In-hyeok!” In a black suit, looking gaunt, he turned to look at me. It was him. I stood up in shock. He turned to walk back into the building, but I sprinted forward and grabbed his arm. “Hey! Do you remember me? Huh?” His expression didn’t change. It was cold. “We ate gamjatang together at Ryu Geun-deok’s place, remember? Huh?” His sharp eyes scanned my face. Then he yanked his arm free and went inside. The guards at the door kept me from following. That face—he clearly didn’t remember me. I’d come here on a wild hope, and still, meeting Baek In-hyeok like this felt miraculous. But seeing the look on his face made the time travel feel like a dream all over again. Maybe I really had gone mad from grief. I'm Sol. I left the hospital and returned to the street to catch a taxi. When I came here, my heart had pounded so hard I couldn’t breathe. Now, heading home, I just felt hollow. That damned dream. It hurt so much more than it should have. It didn’t feel like I’d lost a celebrity. It felt like I’d lost someone I truly knew. I leaned my head against the window. Tears rolled down silently. The TV volume from next door was so loud that the thumping bass echoed through the walls. It was 2 a.m. I pounded on the wall with a clenched fist. “Turn the damn TV down!” A moment later, they banged back—louder. “Shut up!!!” I glared at the wall, fuming, and slammed it again. I peeled off my socks and clothes. I reached for my rural volunteer T-shirt hanging over the chair, but tossed it into the laundry after sniffing something foul. I opened the drawer to look for something else to wear—and froze. There was a piece of clothing that wasn’t mine. “...Huh?” I pulled it from the bottom of the drawer, heart pounding. It was a pair of gray gym pants. A white line ran down each side, and on the right pocket, embroidered in white, was the crest of Jagam High School.𝚏𝐫𝚎𝗲𝕨𝐞𝐛𝕟𝚘𝐯𝚎𝗹.𝕔𝐨𝗺. The same uniform pants I’d bought from Seon-jae on Marketplace. “What’s this doing here...?” I brought the logo close to my face. It really was the Jagam High School crest. There was only one possible explanation: I had bought them in the past. It wasn’t a dream. I really went. I rifled through the pants I’d thrown to the floor and found the pocket watch. I opened the lid. The hour hand pointed just past 2. So... what had triggered it? I was crying on the bed when it happened. I sat down, staring at the watch. It looked like a normal timepiece. But when the hour hand had clicked to 1, it had released that burst of light, taking me back. What about when I left? It hadn’t been exactly 1:00. It was after New Year’s greetings had aired. I flipped the watch around. There was no crown to wind it. What kind of watch doesn’t have a winding knob? I rubbed the glass face with my thumb. Suddenly—crack!—a light broke through the outer rim. “Huh?” I opened my eyes wide at the familiar sound. “Oh—wait—I’m going! I’m going!” The light expanded, filling my vision. Too bright—I shut my eyes and screamed, “I’m going!!!” Then— All at once— The blinding light disappeared. Even with my eyes tightly shut— I could feel it.