Chapter 6

I truly tried to make my marriage to Benedict Cole work. When I realized he was growing distant after we married, I didn't lose heart. His company was in the most critical stage of its development, and I assumed he was simply overwhelmed. So I made allowances for him at every turn. I took care of him with everything I had. His stomach was weak, so I cooked congee and simmered nourishing soups. Whenever he drank, I got up in the middle of the night to make him a hangover remedy. When he fell ill, I stayed by his side all night. He liked playing video games, so I played with him. He enjoyed racing, so I tagged along and threw myself into the excitement. When he broke his leg, I took care of him while helping him claim the championship. His company struggled on the verge of bankruptcy. I gave up my chance to stay on at school and turned down a high-paying job at a major corporation to join his company. I stayed by his side through the hardest days of the downturn. I catered to all his preferences and helped him solve the company's problems. I did everything I could to be his wife. I could feel that he eventually became less distant. I could tell he liked me and wanted to build a life with me. But that feeling didn't last long. One day, he became distracted again. Looking back, his change in attitude began with that phone call from Ocean Sabey. Those days when he didn't come home, he had been meeting Vivian Sabey. Unfortunately, I didn't know he had someone else at the time. It was only the occasional veiled barbs from Benedict Cole's mother and his younger brother that made me piece the truth together. He had courted me and married me only because his father had forced him to. Benedict Cole wanted to start a business, and his father had promised to help fund it if he pursued me. Even after I saw through that cruel truth, I refused to accept my fate. I tried even harder to melt his heart. In the end, I realized I was the joke. I finally gave up on him for good in the winter of our third year of marriage. We hadn't rushed to have children after getting married because Benedict Cole's company had been on the verge of bankruptcy that first year. We devoted all our time and energy to the business and had no time to start a family. That winter, after the first snowfall, I got pregnant. The pregnancy was unplanned, but I decided to keep the baby. I loved children, and the unexpected news filled me with joy. Benedict Cole was away on a business trip, so I called him to discuss the baby. The call connected. Before I could say a word, a woman's coy voice drifted through the receiver. "Benedict Cole, where's my underwear?" The moment I heard it, something inside my head snapped. Benedict Cole cautiously asked whether I had heard anything. My heart seemed to stop for a second. "No," I said. I wasn't the type to explode the moment something went wrong. The angrier I became, the calmer I grew. I preferred to let evidence speak for itself, so I didn't tip him off. I had someone investigate first, and the trail led to Vivian Sabey. So Vivian Sabey never needed to send me those photos. I had already known that Benedict Cole was keeping his mistress hidden away. I even knew the address of the apartment he had bought for Vivian Sabey. I knew she was his unattainable first love. I knew she had been married before, and I knew the truth behind her divorce. Her ex-husband hadn't cheated on her. She had slept around before marriage and undergone too many abortions, leaving her unlikely to have children again. Her ex-husband had been an only son, so he couldn't allow his family line to end. Once I had proof of Benedict Cole's affair, I planned to divorce him. But the day before I could file, Benedict Cole's mother came to pick a fight. During the ensuing shoving match, I tumbled down the stairs from the second floor and lost the baby. I told myself it was fate. The baby was gone, and I was determined to end the marriage. But that was how the world worked. There were always people and things that forced you to walk barefoot down a road of thorns, even when you knew exactly what lay ahead.