Chapter 2

“No, I do like you too. As a friend.” “……” “But us dating… Even you must think that’s a bit off, right?” “Ah.” Hearing those words, I remembered. How could I have forgotten this? And surely, what comes next is… “You’ve been watching all this time, haven’t you? The girls I’ve dated. Didn’t you feel anything seeing them? What made you confess to me? Those girls and you… No, I won’t say it.” Right. That’s the line that should come next. The line that trampled all over my self-esteem and plunged me into a pit of depression. I looked over the boy standing in front of me. Tall, with soft hair, smooth features that would probably earn him some ridiculous nickname like ‘One of the Three Great Kings of XX University’ when he got to college. And on top of that, an expression that said ‘I’m annoyed but holding back.’ “…Seo Jaegyeom.” “Yeah?” The boy nodded at my call. Yes, it’s Seo Jaegyeom. The most popular guy in our school until Jung Eunsung, the idol trainee, transferred in. Even after Eunsung arrived, he didn’t exactly lose out, still sharing the girls’ affections. My first love. ‘My mom used to work as a housekeeper at Seo Jaegyeom’s house.’ Whenever I went there on errands, the dazzling Seo Jaegyeom was always there. A handsome boy my age living in a spacious, clean house that couldn’t even be compared to ours. Living with just his mother in the biggest house in the best neighborhood around here. Rumored to be the illegitimate child of some corporate executive. And I’m one of the few people who know that rumor is true. ‘Oh, Kang Dahye. Hello.’ ‘Kang Dahye. You’re here again.’ Even though he might have felt uncomfortable with me knowing his secret, Seo Jaegyeom never showed it. He’d greet me casually when we met at school, and offer to walk me home if it got late. Though he never actually did, just the offer was enough. ‘Seo Jaegyeom, are you dating Kang Dahye?’ ‘Don’t talk nonsense.’ It was the perfect environment for me to misunderstand. But reality isn’t a drama, and I’m not the protagonist. It was just a misunderstanding. “It is Seo Jaegyeom……” I curiously examined Seo Jaegyeom’s face, which I was seeing for the first time since senior year. Like many other friends, contact with Seo Jaegyeom had been cut off right after graduation. The one-sided communication I had been maintaining alone was abruptly severed when I, having bombed the CSAT, hid away in shame from my friends. Seo Jaegyeom never once tried to find me. “Seo Jaegyeom. When was it that I confessed to you?” “Hmm? I don’t really remember that well.” Seo Jaegyeom replied dismissively to my question. Just from this, I could tell Seo Jaegyeom had no feelings for me. It’s March now. Early March. It hasn’t even been a week since the semester… no, school! School started. Q. Don’t people usually confess on special days like Valentine’s Day, the end-of-year festival, or graduation trip? Why did you confess to a boy from the same school at the start of the semester, knowing you’d have to face him if rejected? Especially since I believe you’re in the same class as Seo Jaegyeom at this point. A. No. I confessed at the end of the school year, too. I confessed last December, and the answer just came now. ‘Huh? You? To me?’ ‘Jaegyeom! Hurry up! We won’t get seats if we’re late!’ ‘Ah. But I have to go now. I’ll contact you later.’ Then he went silent for the entire winter break. Seo Jaegyeom didn’t even come to the closing ceremony, saying he was going on an overseas trip. I agonized alone until March, clutching my phone, wondering if I should try contacting him. Checking Chasebook dozens of times a day, where photos of Seo Jaegyeom surfing at Manly Beach were being posted. There’s that famous saying that no answer is also an answer. Just in case. Holding onto a sliver of hope. By the way, my birthday is in February, and Seo Jaegyeom didn’t contact me even once that day. Then, after school started and he saw me in the same class, he just went ‘Ah,’ as if he’d just remembered. And only today did he finally give me an answer. Before the regression, I cried my eyes out after going through this. But now? “Dahye, you’re smart. You understand without me having to say more, right? I’ll just pretend I didn’t hear what you said that day. You too……” “Yeah, sure.” I raised my hand to stop Seo Jaegyeom’s words. “I understand what you mean completely. You want to pretend it never happened, right? That’s fine by me.” Eleven years ago, this might have been a heart-wrenching unrequited love that made me cry every night, but now, at twenty-nine, it’s just laughable. ‘As always, Kang Dahye, you’ve got a knack for spotting handsome guys.’ Even so, how could I have thought of confessing? Was he the only handsome guy around? If so, why not just avoid liking anyone? If I had just taken a step back, I would have seen it. Who Seo Jaegyeom had feelings for. ‘Whatever, we won’t see each other after graduation anyway.’ I have much more important things to do than Seo Jaegyeom. I dusted off my now slightly dirty uniform and looked up at Seo Jaegyeom. He slightly frowned at my direct gaze. “Kang Dahye?” “Sorry for crossing the line. It won’t happen again.” “Uh…” “I’ll head in first, then.” “O…kay.” “Yeah.” “……” “……” “……” “Ah, but Seo Jaegyeom.” “Yeah?” “If ‘How could you confess to me after seeing all the girls I’ve dated’ isn’t harsh, then what exactly is harsh by your standards?” Without waiting for an answer, I returned to the classroom alone. I wandered a bit, not remembering which class I was in, but finally found it after recognizing some classmates’ faces. “My locker is… Ah, here it is.” There’s a lock on it, but I can’t remember the password. Let’s just break it. Crack! “Gasp.” “She’s crazy.” My classmates were shocked to see me breaking the lock with a broom. “Dahye, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” “Yeah. I’m fine. I’m feeling great right now.” I took out all the textbooks from the locker. Hugging them, I turned around. I asked a girl whose eyes I happened to meet. “Friend.” “Uh, yes?” “Could you tell me where my seat is?” I couldn’t remember because I didn’t sleep well yesterday, I added. Without any suspicion, she pointed somewhere. Second column, third row. “Thanks.” I sat down and piled the textbooks I brought on the desk. After taking a deep breath, I started flipping through them one by one. -Korean. Well, Korean is fine, it’s not like I’ve forgotten the language. I just need to practice solving problems again. Pass. -English. I got a perfect score on TOEIC, so this should be fine. Pass. -Korean History. I know the general flow, but I can’t remember the details. On hold for now. -Math. Huh? What was this symbol again? How do you solve this? -French (Second foreign language that others don’t have to take, but I do because I’m aiming for Korea University). The only French words I remember are Joan of Arc, Napoleon, and jambon-beurre?????? Wait a minute, but math… This subject that until now was more commonly called ‘Mathematical Field’… I can’t remember anything…? “I’m doomed……” I’m screwed. That’s the conclusion I can draw without much deliberation. I’m screwed. “Wow, this is insane. I can’t remember anything.” I can’t even remember the quadratic formula. How long do I have until the CSAT from now? 1 year and 7 months? 8 months? But it’s not just about doing well on the CSAT, right? School grades are important too. So I have to study the forgotten content while also keeping up with new material……? Drip. “Gasp, Dahye! Why are you crying!” “Huh? Kang Dahye is crying?” “Kang Dahye is crying.” “Why?” “Don’t know.” “Dahye, are you okay?” “…What’s going on?” “Jaegyeom, Dahye is crying!” “…She’s crying?” Just then, Seo Jaegyeom, who was entering the classroom, heard ‘Kang Dahye is crying’ and looked at me. Seeing me with tears streaming down my face, Seo Jaegyeom slightly furrowed his brow… then sighed. As if he had expected this. Looks like I’m quite a bother to him. I want to tell him ‘I’m not crying because of you,’ but it would probably just sound like an excuse to him… Ah, how embarrassing. “I’m going to the bathroom for a moment.” I grabbed my phone and left the classroom. Leaning against the corridor wall, I took a deep breath. “It’s okay.” There’s still plenty of time. I’ve come all the way back in time, gotten a second chance that others couldn’t even dream of, and I’m going to whine? “No whining allowed. Let’s say these were tears of joy.” Wiping away my tears with the back of my hand, I fiddled with my smartphone in the other hand. Maybe because it’s a model from 11 years ago, it’s heavier, thicker, and slower. Let’s see. What apps did I use 11 years ago? “Hm, I used this music app 11 years ago, too. …What’s this, an unrequited love playlist?” [Kang Dahye’s Unrequited Love Playlist] - We Should've Been Just Friends If It Were Me... The Person You Love... If It Were Me... One Step Behind... I Was Always There...☆ I Want To Say It... That I Love You... I Hate Myself... For Not Being Able To Say Anything... I Wish It Were A Coincidence... So I Could Run Into You... If Only I Could See You One More Time Like That... A Friend's Confession...☆★☆ You... Must Be Comfortable With Me... Love All Alone ㅠ What Should I Do~~~ I'm Still So Clumsy~~~ Note: Is it that hard to have a meal with me just once… I’m going crazy, stars… I want to have him. Jae. “Aaaargh!” What is this! I threw the phone I was holding. The smartphone rolled away and stopped at someone’s feet, its screen still lit. “Uh…” Someone slowly bent down and picked up my brightly illuminated dark history.