Chapter 6

In my second year of high school. There was a girl in our class named Woo Doyeon. Doyeon was pretty. We went to different middle schools, but even at my middle school, there were kids who knew about Doyeon’s existence. Some boys would enroll in the academy Doyeon was said to attend just to see her. ‘I’m in the same class as Woo Doyeon.’ ‘Is she pretty?’ ‘Yeah. Fucking gorgeous.’ Doyeon also came from a wealthy family. Her father, with neatly combed hair and driving a nice car, would often drop Doyeon off in front of the school. Her uniform and shoes were always neat, and her belongings were always new. She was also good at studying, earning the affection of teachers. ‘Doyeon, why don’t you read the next sentence? Oh my, your pronunciation is so good. Didn’t you say you lived in New Zealand when you were young?’ ‘Oh, Doyeon. Collect the handouts for this class.’ The older male Geography teacher blatantly favored Doyeon, sending her on errands instead of the class president. Boys would make up excuses just to talk to her, and some girls found this annoying. That resentful gaze reached its peak when Doyeon ranked first in the boys’ evaluation of the prettiest girls in our grade. ‘Woo Doyeon is first, and Han Jisoo is second? No way.’ ‘Is Doyeon really that pretty? I don’t see it.’ Why get angry at Doyeon instead of the boys who dared to rank people by looks? Let me make an excuse - it’s because this is the past. The kids haven’t updated their ideology yet. ‘I think Jisoo is prettier.’ ‘Me too. Jisoo is truly pure and elegantly pretty, while Doyeon is… honestly a bit…’ ‘I have something to say but I dare not~‘ ‘Doyeon’s family is rich, right? What if we get sued?’ It was jealousy. Because Doyeon was pretty, good at studying, from a wealthy family, and popular. The same could be said for Jisoo, but to belittle the hated Doyeon, they needed Jisoo to play the role of ‘she’s better than her.’ Still, it could have ended there. Not all the girls were blinded by jealousy. It could have ended with just a few girls badmouthing her behind her back. The problem was that Doyeon’s personality was quite cold. ‘Doyeon, is this Channel? It’s really pretty. Can I try it on just once?’ ‘No.’ ‘Huh?’ ‘I said no. If you want to wear it, buy your own.’ ‘…How rude! It’s not like I’m treating you like a beggar.’ ‘Heh… Why would you want to try on someone else’s shoes anyway? ‘Ah, I was just curious and asked!’ The boys who had taken Doyeon’s side when she conflicted with some girls changed their tune when Doyeon treated them just as coldly. ‘She doesn’t know how to be grateful.’ ‘She needs to learn her lesson the hard way.’ At a time when so many kids were holding a grudge against Doyeon. That rumor spread. ‘Hey, did you know? The reason Doyeon has no friends is because she got caught going to Neverland alone with her friend’s boyfriend in middle school.’ ‘No way?’ ‘Wow. I knew it. I thought she was obsessed with boys.’ ‘Isn’t she still like that now? Pretending not to be while…’ The rumor that started with her seducing her friend’s boyfriend grew more elaborate over time. A boy who was in her class in the first year went to Doyeon’s house for a project, and Doyeon was lying on the bed, patting the space next to her. Doyeon was dating the Korean History teacher in his early 30s, who got married last year. She supposedly shouted,d When are you going to get a divorce?d! While crying to the teacher on the crowded Yeouido Yunjoong-ro. I know. It’s all nonsense. But we were young then and believed it all. ‘At this point, maybe Geography was seduced by Doyeon first?’ ‘So Geography and Korean History are fighting over Doyeon?’ ‘Ah, crazy. That’s disgusting.’ From then on, Doyeon became our school’s public enemy. Whether Doyeon heard or not, or rather, as if they wanted her to hear, they openly cursed, mocked, and ridiculed her. The looks and silence that passed between the kids whenever Geography favored Doyeon again during class, or when the oblivious Korean History spoke to Doyeon. So how did it end, you ask? Doyeon, who had endured all sorts of sneers and insults with composure, one day opened a window in the classroom and jumped out. Only then did the kids who had been cursing Doyeon write letters saying ‘We miss our pretty Doyeon’ and pile them on Doyeon’s desk, but… Doyeon never came back alive. And now. ‘Hey, Woo Doyeon. Tell me your secret, will you? The secret to seducing old men. I want to seduce Geography too and get him to tell me the exam questions.’ ‘Look at her pretending not to hear.’ ‘I heard she was in the infirmary all morning? She’s sick but came to eat?’ ‘Maybe she’s faking being sick and went on a date with Geography? That’s why she’s hungry now.’ ‘Ugh!’ ‘What are you thinking, you pervert?’ ‘Pfft!’ ‘Hey, Woo Doyeon! Can’t you hear? Are you deaf?’ ‘Hey, hey!’ In the past, I ignored Doyeon. A poor family that couldn’t even afford workbooks comfortably, grades that could drop at any time among kids rising with private tutoring and academies as weapons, unrequited love for Seo Jaegyeom… My head was about to explode with my problems. And honestly, I was scared. I didn’t want to become a target myself by standing up for Doyeon, who wasn’t even close to me. I felt uncomfortable seeing what Doyeon went through, but I’d forget about it as soon as I turned away. I might have even laughed along once or twice when people around me joked about Doyeon. But. ‘Now that I’ve lived to twenty-nine once, I understand.’ The things that seemed like everything back then? Looking back, they’re nothing. Just two years later, when you go to college, you can live perfectly fine without contacting any of the friends you were close with in high school. What kind of person was I in high school? No one knows if I don’t tell them. This is nothing. Yet someone died because of that nothing. ‘Hey, Woo Doyeon, can’t you hear? Hey!’ ‘Whoa, look at her ignoring even after getting hit with a walnut cookie.’ ‘Hey, throw some kimchi, kimchi.’ ‘Shit, then I’d have to pick it up with my hands.’ ‘You can pick it up with chopsticks and throw it!’ ‘Genius?’ I’m incredibly happy now that I’ve returned to the past. But this isn’t something I earned by doing well. The regression could have happened to Woo Doyeon or Jung Eunsung. My being chosen was a 100% chance. It’s just that my luck was better than Doyeon’s. I’m enjoying a second chance because I’m lucky, but if Doyeon can’t, isn’t that too dirty a world? So I’m doing what Doyeon would have undoubtedly done for herself if she had been the one to regress instead of me. Q. Didn’t you say you were only going to study? A. I was going to… I was going to. I’m an adult after all, how could I sleep comfortably at night after ignoring this situation? My conscience would bother me. If I lack sleep, I can’t study. Besides, to study, I need to create a good academic atmosphere. When someone is being targeted, bullied, and ostracized, how can anyone study in this kind of environment? ‘Right, let’s share this luck I’ve been given. It’s not like it’ll wear out.’ ‘Jisoo.’ I turned to Jisoo, who was standing next to me holding her tray with an anxious expression. ‘Sorry, but I can’t eat with you today. There’s a seat next to Seo Jaegyeom over there, so eat with him just for today.’ Don’t get caught in the crossfire by being with me. ‘I’m sorry, I’ll buy you chocolate milk after math class, okay?’ Without waiting for an answer, I headed towards Doyeon’s table. Clank. In the quiet cafeteria, only the sound of me setting down my tray rang out loudly. The group at the next table, who were just snickering while picking up kimchi with their chopsticks, closed their mouths and looked at me. Pretending nothing was wrong, I pulled out a chair and sat across from Doyeon. Doyeon, who had been steadfastly continuing her meal, raised her head to look at me. ‘Kang Dahye, what are you doing?’ Song Yeoreum from the next table, who was holding a walnut cookie ready to throw at Doyeon, called out to me. For reference, Song Yeoreum is one of the few people I remember among my high school classmates that I’ve mostly forgotten. We went to the same middle school, and she was a famous delinquent even back then. The money she casually extorted from kids, saying ‘Just a thousand won’, ‘Just ten thousand won’, ‘How much do you have now? Oh, no cash? Can’t you withdraw some from the ATM?’ probably added up to over a million won. We were in the same class in 8th grade, and when I said I had no money, she went ‘Really?’ and smacked the pocket of my uniform skirt. To check if there were any bills in the pocket. She once locked my friend, who went to a foreign language high school, in the cleaning supply closet and beat her up, and she also asked me to help her cheat on an English test. ‘I used to ly scared of you back then.’ I looked at her curled hair and uniform that was properly worn only from the skirt down, as she unplugged the hand dryer in the school bathroom to plug in her curling iron instead. ‘Hey, Kang Dahye. What do you think you’re doing?’ ‘…Sharing some luck.’ ‘What?’ ‘Ah, it might be bad luck for you, though.’ ‘What nonsense… Kyaa!’ The red bean butter walnut cookie I threw landed precisely in Song Yeoreum’s soup bowl. She screamed as the soup splashed all over the hoodie she was wearing. I grinned at Doyeon, whose eyes had widened. Since I’m so happy with this luck, I hope others can be as happy as I am.