Chapter 115

Words : 831 Updated : May 20th, 2025

I barely slept a wink last night, and you could tell by the eye bags under my eyes. I haven't had a moment of rest or peace since Alec walked back into my life. If I'd known all the shit that would cwith him walking back into my life, I would have moved to a different continent. Hell, a different plight that was possible. I want my life to go back to how simple it was a few weeks ago. Sure, I had my scars, both physically, emotionally, and mentally, but I was at peace. I didn't have all these mysteries surrounding me. I didn't have constant migraines from thinking too much. I didn't carry the weight of lifting a fucking curse on my shoulders. Sometimes I wonder if things would have been better if I hadn't fallen in love with Alec. I've gone over what I would have done differently more times than I could count. The results are always the same. Despite the pain and heartache, I wouldn't have changed a thing. Changing things and wishing they were different would mean Aspen never existed... and I would never regret her. There is also the matter of Beth, Raven, King, and my pack. If things hadn't happened the way they did, I wouldn't have met any of them. "Will you pay attention?" Nyx's irritated voice pulls me from my thoughts. "Sorry," I reply sheepishly. Nyx hadn't been joking when she said we would start training. The moment we were done with breakfast, she demanded that we leave so that we could start training. Since I had a hard time sleeping, I woke up pretty early. After debating whether to go downstairs for breakfast, I took a shower and headed for the kitchen. You have no idea the relief I felt when I didn't find anyone inside. Sure, things have changed, but that doesn't mean I'm ready to face my previous pack. It would be overwhelming for me. I still had a hard time being around their alpha, seeing them would be too much. After eating cereal, I went and called Martha. After she'd settled in my room with a still-sleeping Aspen, I went into Raven's room to let her know of my whereabouts so she wouldn't be worried. After that, I silently left the pack house. "So, first of all, I want you to clear your head," she says after she calms down. "Nyx..." "No, you have too many thoughts running around your head. For this to work, you need to completely focus on our powers. You can't serve two masters at the same time. You can't focus on both your thoughts and powers." We were in a meadow that used to be my favorite place in the pack. Piper and I played here countless times when we were little kids. I loved the flowers and just how green and bright the whole area was. When I wanted to be alone or to just think, this is where I used to come. Settling cross-legged on the grass, I get comfortable and close my eyes. "Don't try to chase away your thoughts, just let them wander, but don't focus on them. Don't hold onto them. Your brain will eventually clear out." It's so fucking hard. I'm the kind of person who overthinks things. I tend to overanalyze and overthink things until they drive the point of insanity. Trying not to dwell on my thoughts is similar to trying to squeeze water from a rock. It is hard. I struggle with that for what seems to be forever, until finally, I just stop. I stop trying to dwell on the, and just let my mind be. Everything floods my mind. Alec. His pack. My pack. The mysterious woman. The hybrids. My powers. The other alpha female. The curse. On and on they go. Rattling inside my head like caged wild animals. I don't dwell on them and just let them go in whichever direction they desire. Soon enough, my body starts swaying, and I feel like I am in a trance. I've never meditated before, but I think this might be it. I'm not sure how much time had passed when I realized that my mind was quiet. Empty. There isn't a single thought in my head. Opening my eyes, I'm impressed. The entire thing is amazing because my head has never been this free. It has never been empty. As long as I can remember, there has always been a thought I was dwelling on. I felt liberated. "Finally," Nyx drawls. "I almost fell asleep waiting for you to clear that head of yours." "It's our head, in case you haven't noticed." "Please, I meant you mind, which, by the way, is messier than a teenager's room."

Chapter 115

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