Chapter 65

Words : 1472 Updated : May 20th, 2025

Alec... Regret. Regret. Regret. That's the one fucking emotion that no one ever wants to feel—one of the emotions that has the ability to gut you and leave you hating yourself for the shit you did. I look at my daughter, and my heart aches. I almost killed her. I hurt her mother. I lost three fucking years with her. She doesn't know who the hell I am or just how important she already is to me. To her, I am no one but a stranger. Someone staying in their pack. Someone who doesn't have an impact on her life. I am a nobody to her. I doubt I even exist in her little world. These last couple of weeks, since I learned she's mine, I've been watching her—watching her play, watching her laugh, watching her smile, watching her cry. I've been studying her, learning about her—her likes and dislikes, what makes her happy and sad. I've observed and analyzed her personality. She's an amazing little girl, so full of joy. Sadie really did a great job raising her because Aspen is an angel through and through. So many times, I've wanted to pull her into my arms and hug her. So many times, I've wanted to kiss her rosy cheeks. So many times, I've wanted to hold her and just be with her. It has gutted me over and over watching her interact with King, watching her run to him when she sees him, watching her treat him like a father figure. Knowing your daughter doesn't even recognize you is like a stab to the heart over and over again. I know that I don't have anyone to blame, but fuck it. That doesn't mean it hurts any less. "Hey, are you okay?" Micah's voice pulls me from my tumultuous thoughts. Running my hands down my face, I shake my head. "No." While Micah, Jason, and I traveled in one car, Sadie, Aspen, Raven, and the nanny were in the car in front of us. My jet could only carry ten people, so the rest of my warriors who had traveled with us and some of Sadie's warriors would arrive the next day. Their flight was for tonight. I would send my jet back once we arrived to pick up Piper, who had refused to leave without Calvin. They would both come, but Calvin would continue staying in my dungeon until Sadie and I decided what to do with him. “Is this about the pack? You know you don't have to worry since Sadie agreed to help. Everything will be okay. We won't lose anyone," Jason says, pulling me back to reality. Fuck. How can I tell them that this is about more than just the pack? That this is about more than just being worried about the injured members? Everything is a fucking mess, and I have no fucking idea where to start to fix this shit. It was messing with my head. I dug a hole for myself when I treated Sadie like shit— a hole that now, three years later, is my own undoing. It's frustrating, to say the least. "Can't you read the writing on the wall?" Micah turns to Jason and asks. "What Alec is dealing with isn't just about the pack. Have you forgotten about Aspen, who doesn't even know who the fuck he is? Or what about Sadie, who wants nothing to do with him?" Sighing, I close my eyes and lean my head back against the leather seat. Why did life have to be so fucking complicated? I wish every person you met came with a fucking sign—something like, "Hey, this person will be important to you in the future. Tread carefully." That would have surely stopped me from making the biggest fucking mistake of my life. "I'm not worried about that. They are mates," Jason turns to Micah in a relaxed and casual manner. "It's only a matter of time before Sadie gives in and forgives him." "Are you fucking serious or just being ignorant? Sadie doesn't seem to have a forgiving bone in her. I doubt she'll let this go. The fact that she asked Alec to accept the rejection after she helps us should be proof enough." "Well, that's your fucking opinion. I believe in the mate bond. And I fucking believe she'll submit to it." "Sure, the fucking mate bond that is clear as day she's fighting and, from the looks of it, winning," Micah growls in annoyance. Their argument was starting to get on my fucking nerves. I needed to think; I needed to come up with ways to deal with this whole shitstorm. I needed solutions, not theories. "Would the two of you just shut up?" I growl, massaging my temples. "You are giving me a fucking headache." They both turn to look at me but otherwise shut their mouths. I lean back against the chair and just close my eyes. Everything I did to Sadie three years ago plays on my fucking mind like a broken record. Every punch, every insult, every slap, every whip, every knife cut. EVERYTHING. Her pleas for mercy ring in my ears. I try to block them out, but it doesn't fucking work. Her screams and cries invade my headspace. I can't shake them off no matter how hard I try. I'm jolted awake when the car comes to a stop. Turning to the window, I realize that we are at the airport. I don't wait for the others; I get out because I feel suffocated. "Do you need help with her?" I ask Sadie, stopping near her. I wanted so badly to hold my daughter that my hands were practically itching. With a cold stare and an even colder voice, she simply says, "No." Nodding my head, I then guide her. Throughout the short journey, Aspen couldn't stop talking about how happy she was that she was going on a plane. Her smile, innocence, and laughter warm my heart but also bring a pang of longing. I want her to smile at me like that. I want her to cling to me the way she's holding onto Sadie. I want her sweet warmth to erase the coldness inside me and to destroy the monster that I was to her mother. After being cleared and all the necessary procedures, we are led to where my jet is. We get in, and the moment we are settled, my pilot takes off. "What are you doing?" Sadie hisses when I take the seat next to her. The mate bond was riding hard. I needed to be next to her. I needed to smell her scent. I needed to touch her, to mark her, to mate her. I couldn't do the last three things, but I could do the first two. "Sitting, obviously." "Then I'll go find another seat," she says through gritted teeth, trying to stand up. I put a stop to that by grabbing the end of her chair to make sure she didn't move. She begins to tremble, and her eyes start flashing. I should have been scared because she was on the verge of losing control, but I wasn't. "You lose control and this whole jet crashes," I drawl lazily. "You may survive given you have wings, but the rest of us probably won't." That seems to stop her. She closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, and then opens her eyes again. When she does, she's calmer and more in control. "What do you want, Alec?" she asks, almost tiredly. What did I want? Well, I wanted a lot of fucking things, but I doubted she was ready to hear any of them. Hell, I can bet on my parents' graves that she isn't ready to hear any of them. When I fail to say anything, she pushes my hand away, stands up, and leaves. I’m left staring at her seat with unseeing eyes. "What are we going to do?" Knox whispers, his voice full of a kind of longing and remorse. I twist in my seat before looking out the window. "I don't know. I just don't fucking know, Knox." I was the great Alpha Alec, but right now, I felt like nothing but a fucking failure. Knox's question continues to ring in my head throughout the flight. It was now starting to hit me just how badly I messed things up. What the hell do you do when you've messed up so badly that she now hates your fucking guts?

Chapter 65

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