Chapter 192

Words : 755 Updated : Jun 12th, 2025

I stare at Aspen, who is soundly asleep. She looks so beautiful. So, at peace. Her long lashes fan her cheeks, and her mouth is slightly open as she snores. Snoring should be annoying, but when it's from Aspen, it's absolutely cute. The day out that we had completely tired her out. She didn't even finish her dinner. She fell asleep midway through her meal. She was tired, but she was happy, and that's what matters most. I head for the bathroom after placing a gentle kiss on her slightly damp forehead. Tiredly, I take off my clothes before jumping into the shower. I lean forward, my hands against the wall, holding up while I let hot water run down my back. I thought this small outing would help, but it didn't. The moment I got back to the pack, I found my problems still waiting for me. It was a small reprieve from the stress, but it didn't fix anything. Sighing, I finished showering and got out. Wrapping a towel around my chest, I move to the mirror. I stare at myself, but instead of staring at my scar like I usually do, I stare at my eyes. I see nothing there but emptiness. Black, dead, emotionless eyes stare back at me. I no longer see the vibrant woman I used to be. I no longer see the loving person I was. My eyes used to be so expressive, and now they are just dead. How did it come to this? If I am truthful with myself, then I'll admit that I hate this. I hate the dead look in my eyes. I hate the stranger staring back at me. I hate the woman I've become. Unable to stare at myself any longer, I just put on my moisturizer and left the bathroom. I head straight to my suitcase and take out my pajamas before putting them on. I get on the bed next to Aspen and pull her little body close to mine before covering both of us with a blanket. We had a fun day. We went to the zoo since Aspen insisted on it. After that, we went to the mall, did some shopping, had lunch and dessert, stayed out a bit before coming to the pack. It had been a great day, but once I was back, I couldn't shake the melancholy wailing. Once we came back, I couldn't stop thinking of Alec's broken look when I told him that I wished he were dead. I know he did wrong. He hurt me. More than that, he destroyed me. Still, when did I get so bitter that I would wish death on someone else? I close my eyes, trying to sleep, but all I see is the look on his face when I said those words. It was like I'd shattered him. Like I had ripped his heart into small, tiny pieces. I try to justify my actions. They hurt me, and I was just trying to hurt them back, but that argument doesn't hold. With a frustrated cry, I snap my eyes open and get out of bed, being careful not to wake Aspen up. I need a run. I need something that will use up my energy and leave me drained. I make sure the blanket is well tucked around Aspen before giving her a gentle kiss. I slowly and quietly walk towards the door. When I am successfully on the other side, I breathe a sigh of relief before hurrying to get outside. The air is chilly, but I don't mind. I want to feel something else apart from hurt, anger, hate, and bitterness. The cold shard of air that pierces my skin is a welcome relief from my internal turmoil. Swiftly, I get rid of my clothes, and within seconds, I'm standing naked in the middle of the night. "Nyx," I call to her, my voice on the verge of breaking. "I know," comes her soft voice right before we shift into her form. We take off running, not sure which direction we are heading, and lure Nyx to run not caringel faster, knowing exactly what is happening. I'm trying to run away from my demons. From both my past and current hurts, I'm trying to run away from the feeling that Alec aroused hours ago. I'm trying to run from the bitter person I've become.

Chapter 192

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